We’re going through a messy divorce, London and I.
I got the toaster, but she’s keeping all our friends.
There were frequent moments of unbearable loveliness;
suns rising and setting over postcard vistas come to life,
street greetings and pleasant altercations.
But every now and then,
she’d curse, scream, howl
scratch at my face with red painted nails,
threaten to kill me in a supermarket car park,
take my keys and follow me home,
sitting threateningly on my wall,
daring me to come out and face her, rock in hand.
I’ve been with others, of course,
and their glassy stares sure resemble passion in a certain dim light.
But they are not her unkempt smirk,
her jagged laugh,
her dissonant words.
I came back one night to find the locks changed.
So now I lay snoozing on a bare mattress, in a sleeping bag full of holes,
my friend’s eyes gesturing towards the door with each morning’s laboured first breath.
(I can take a hint.)
It reminds me of the sleepless nights she’d often bestow
(the good kind and the bad kind.)
So tomorrow morning, I swear
I’ll set off for Turnpike Lane, toaster in hand.
'Step forward', 'step back'
I sure am tired of these empty phrases for whatever this moment is.
The only flicker of truth I have found so far is that
- as with all milestone moments -
the feelings will be muted and underwhelming;
a faint squawk from downstairs’ blaring telly,
the distant roar of the Cypriot guy and his tall wife, whose names I never bothered to learn.
I’m sure one day, I’ll come crawling back,
in a fit of violent, wordless devotion,
when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window reflection of a high street chemist,
and the girl under my arm
No I know the Onion. I’m aware.
david lynch’s hair and its fine art equivalent
We have so much to do.
You got me meltin’ like a sundae and I want ya
Fire (1566), Giuseppe Arcimboldo / Hot Like Fire (Timbaland Remix) Aaliyah
“Lovers do not notice where they are, do not notice that they repeat themselves. It isn’t repetition, anyway—it’s reassurance. And when you’re holding back and speaking in code, no conversation is boring, because the empty spaces are filled by your desires." - Roger Ebert
Field Day: Ascent & Descent
by Kevin Dowd